I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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