I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
