Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
