Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Couch. On fire.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
