Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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