I think im going to throw up on grandma
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
