Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
