Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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