Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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