nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
