week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
