babies were throwing up all over the place
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
