yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
