Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
