She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
