I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
