I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
