I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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