idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
