Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
