Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
