Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
