So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
