I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
