I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
