your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
