i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Randomize
