you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
