walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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