none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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