we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
