Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
