So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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