I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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