she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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