i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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