you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
