Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The beer is more important than you right now.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
