It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
