am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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