I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
