not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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