just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
