if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
