Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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