I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
