i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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