before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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