She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so that wasnt chicken after all
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
