Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
